Oh Honey, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I have fought depression all my life so I know what you are going through. It can bring anger out in you that you feel that you just can't control.
I am so glad you were able to get an appt. I do hope it will help and also sounds like you should be on anti-depressants. I have been on them for many years and they do help. Sometimes you need to find the right one as there are many of them but once you do, you will know it. The only drawback is it takes two to three weeks sometimes before they start working properly.
I wish you all the luck and in the meantime, just keep coming on here and talking to us. We will be here for you.
Take care,
Linda