I completely agree that therapy is important....being a therapist and all . I will get him an appointment asap and I'll just have to drag him there. I just want to make life easier for all of us. I hate the stress and distress that this disorder causes him right now.

As for the verbal outbursts he doesn't seem to care either about what he says. I used to get really upset or really angry and yell back but that was before I realized what was really going on. As of right now he still yells a lot and breaks off our wedding at least twice a week since we got engaged. The name calling is the worst and most hurtful but I close my ears and just let him rage. Since I have stopped fighting back with him the episodes are much shorter and less intense. I bought him a weight bench last weekend and now instead of the constant yelling for hours on end he will yell a little bit then go work out for however long he feels like. That has really eased the tension around here this week.

I just have to keep reminding myself that he doesn't mean what he's saying. I keep a picture on our living room wall and on the desk top of my computer that says, "You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it." Repeating that often helps a great deal also. Thankfully he has enough awareness that his verbal abuse during an episode has only been directed at me and not our children. For that I am very grateful.