Ok...first, your grammar is better than many native English speakers. So, don't be self-conscious about that. Second, congratulations on having the best grades! That is called valedictorian here in the US. Also, I'm sorry that you are going to miss your T. I imagine that will be very hard, but at least you can have some sessions providing some closure. Furthermore, I'm not sure how universities are there, but here in the US, all large universities have counseling centers for students. Perhaps you will have the same? I suggest contacting the school and checking their website to see what you can find out about this. Good luck, and congratulations! This is a very exciting time in your life, even if it seems a bit scary.