Hello. My name is John-Mark and my wife's name is Faith. I'm 23 and she is 21. We've been married for two years. She has never been able to orgasm. She was molested as a very young girl on multiple occasions, which we believe is the leading cause of her inability to orgasm. She also believes that some girls never have orgasms, never will be able to, and maybe she just physically can't. I strongly disagree. I have told her that if she thinks that way then she won't be able to. I have tried to get her to masturbate, so she can learn her own body. She's tried several times, but was unsuccessful each time. She says it has always been this way, ever since she was in her teens. She says she doesn't feel guilty about what happened to her, or that it's her fault yet every time she feels like she is getting close to having an orgasm, she gets a sick feeling. She has also said that I am the only person she has ever actually enjoyed having sex with, but she still gets that same sick feeling if she starts to get close.

I have tried everything I could to help her. However, recently she told me she has no desire to have an orgasm. She just "tries" because she knows that I really want her to. I asked her why and she said she hates that sick feeling and scared of the feeling after that. She was raised in a christian home and is still a christian. I think that also doesn't help things and adds to the guilt, even though she says it doesn't. She does think watching porn is bad and doesn't understand why people watch it. I also found her asking a question on yahoo answers related to this subject. This is what she asked

"I've never had an orgasm before. I think part of that has to do with being molested when I was younger. But I'm 22 now and married to the best man. I have tried everything because I know it bothers my husband that I can't orgasm too. I have tried masterbating, both penetration and clitoral and I have also tried with my husband. I do enjoy what stimulation and pleasure I feel but when I get close to what I believe is the climaxing point I always get a sick feeling and right afterwards get overly sensitive and have to stop. Someone please tell me what is wrong with me!!!"

I think that it is more of a chore for her and feels like I'm pressuring her to do have an orgasm. She told me she doesn't understand why it bothers me so much. I just want her to enjoy herself. I feel being unable to orgasm leaves a void in a a sexual relationship. She is missing out on so much, but I don't want to add pressure on top of everything else she feels. I don't want her to feel like anything is wrong with her and that she is inadequate. I've thought about going to a counselor but we're young and don't have a lot of money. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks everyone for your time and replys.

-Sincerely John-Mark