I dont know whats up with my brain. Do I just have an overactive imagination or is it somehting more than just that?

I dont know I feel like no one "gets" me. Like they laugh at my humor but they dont take it the same way I do. I feel like I express myself on so many different levels than most people. Its really hard to describe its this undertone . I pay more attention to the process of expressing myself and its effect on my environment and then what the environment puts back at me. See? Did that make any sense?

It s like I can feel mysefl in different ways someone might think well thats just disassociation disorder but I dont feel like that. I dont have more than one personality. Its like people dont pay as much attention to themselves as I do.

I feel like a lab observational experiment into astounding depths of thought or something. Whats worse is I feel so alone and if theres others like me they dont bother reaching out either because they dont think anyone will "get" them either but now I cant meet them like that. Its paradoxical.

Its pretty hard for me to get whats stuffed in my brain out in readable form. I can hardly describe my personality. I just say I'm an alien. They way that I would like to communicate and relate to people is just so 'abnormal'. Others always say " I know how that feels," but it always seems like they dont take it as much as I do. They still have their 'normal' lives. I dont descriminate towards people I like them how they are but it would be great if someone understood so I dont have to search the whole galaxy one day when I build a spaceship.

I also really want to believe in things that are 'crazy' like superpowers. They say thats because of 'schizotypal' or something but I don't understand whats wrong with it. How is it inherently wrong? Why do we have to accept the most lowly form of reality? People say they believe these things too but then they just say 'lol' and go back to their job and stuff perfectly satisfied.

The worst thing about it all is the thought that others like me dont try to find others like them. I am very compelled not to do this as it is and it sucks because i cant explain anything very well. My thoughts are so oil and water.

Thats about as long as I can stand writing about something sad so I just wanted to add this:

Anyways thanks for taking the time to read I really appreciate that even if you dont reply its okay. Lots of well wishes to everyone