Hi Janae. You are fresh out of an abusive relationship and it is going to take a long time to heal. You have been living in a war-zone for a long time and it will have taken it's toll on you. Your emotions are all over the place at the moment because you are processing what has happened and this is completely normal. Feelings of guilt, self doubt, fear, etc are normal so don't be afraid to feel them. You need to work slowly towards your own recovery from this. I think it's great that you are using PC to vocalize your feelings and hope that our responses make you feel less alone in your journey. Keep your chin up and keep walking down that road of recovery.