I think my confusion is more based on, and maybe I'm reading this wrong, that you are NOT actually hurting your kids. You're just telling her you are and wanting her to react to that in a certain way. Why bother with the lies? I don't see a lot of good coming from that. You might get acceptance from your T, though, if you tell her you're lying to test her acceptance of you. I'm just not sure that trying to manipulate your T into accepting you unconditionaly is really going to get you what you want.

I would also be concerned at the possible ramifications of making the claims of actually hurting because that could cause you some legal headaches - are you willing to go through those just to get acceptance?

I think the most important part of your post was when you said you don't accept the idea of hurting your kids so why are you asking him to? That could be a very interesting question to explore and you might get your answer without the possible legal troubles.

I think there are certainly many therapists out there who practice "unconditional positive regard" but not all of them will. Certainly not a religiously affiliated counselor.

Good luck to you with this. I hope your efforts don't cause you any trouble you're not looking for.