Hello, new member here. I am 22 years old and have had depression for at least 9 years. It has pretty much ruined my life, I had to drop out of school and have lost all my friends, hobbies etc. My depression is a combination of anxiety, almost constant "blues", low self esteem and horrible fatigue.
After years of trying to "think positive" and kick myself in the butt I have come to realize that it's not working. I can't make a change by myself, it's hopeless. I have been on and off treatment for years, gone through therapy and antidepressants. Problem is, it has never had any effect. None at all.
With the meds I just got some side effects, nothing too bad but no effect on my mood. It was like I wasn't even taking anything.

This has left me really hopeless. I've read a little about treatment resistant depression but nobody seems to have any answers for what to do when the common treatments don't work. Eating healthy and exercising doesn't help either, not that I could even keep that up long considering I have weeks and month that I can barely for myself out of bed because of the insane fatigue. But working out just makes me feel even more tired, it's never given me any energy.

I have tried 4 meds, some multiple times - three SSRIs and one SNRI. I know it's not a big number, but I'm skeptical about trying more meds because surely I should have had at least SOME effect?! I have never heard of anyone not getting any effect whatsoever from multiple antidepressants... That's not normal right, usually people get at least some temporal effect and then it goes away or they get too many side effects etc.

Frankly I hate the idea of starting another medication and getting my hopes up just to have them crushed again.

I've always had the standard 1-3 months test time and relatively low doses (although I often lift the dose by myself because I see no effect and little side effects). Should I demand higher doses and try meds for a longer time? Does that make any difference?

Is it possible to have a depression where no treatment works? I know I will have this for the rest of my life if I don't find some miracle cure - or rather, a way to manage with the depression because I know I will probably never get rid of it. But right now I don't even have faith that I could ever achieve anything close to normal, to be able to socialize, go out, have a job etc.

Thanks for anyone who bothered to read this and who has some answers...I'm really holding on to my last hope here :P