PS

And, in the date rape analogy, let us suppose that after raping the girl, the guy goes out, buys 50 scarlet roses and a diamond ring, and comes back to wait patiently until the date rape drug ceases to sedate the girl, because he wants to proclaim his love for her and propose to her.

We would say that while this is all cute, it STILL does not justify the date rape, right?..

So... nothing justifies removing your power to make decisions. And you are finding it hard to forgive that he removed your power to make decisions. And not that he has a kiddo. This is serious stuff. You are not being petty at all.