I hate the word survivor because it means that we have "survived" the abuse of someone.. and yet we carry the weight of the damage whereas the abuser goes on their merry way. And that irks me big time. Too bad "survivor" didn't mean well yes we survived but the abuser is payen the consequences for causing so much damage to one. Then I could say yes, being a survivor is a good thing....Being a survivor only means pain..... and I don't like it one bit that my life is full of pain , cause by others.. I wish I was a jerk and could hurt them back, just I can't do that. I don't want to hurt anyone.. It seems the "*** holes" are the winners in life... I've tried to be one, just it give me such a tummy ache and not worth it to be a jerk to others..Maybe this is the "damage" speaking, but I want so much for folks to stop abusing children, women, and even animals.. This world can be soooooooo cruel ... and yet God says love... How can we love when there is soooooo much abuse against others in this world.........

I am tired of carrying the weight of guilt, pain, damage to me caused by others..I don't want to be a victim.. I don't want to be a survivor. I just want to know life without ever experiencing abuse. The way God meant life to be. And I can't find it.. .