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Congratulations on the wedding, and you sound like you have a fighting chance (from a to z) in success. 1) You know it'll be tough 2) Relationships are difficult period 3) If willing to accept someone for who they are then your not married to a monster 4) Praying for you!
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My needed "personality changes" were gifted to me by my wife, heavily influenced by following (google)beyondconsequences (Heather T. Forbes LCSW).
I have also found peace, understanding, in the work of Russ Harris. His book, "The Reality Slap" brings change from the inside as Professor Paul Gilbert, PhD who authored "The Compassionate Mind" states.
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