Quote:
Originally Posted by rise__above
Furious again. Saw their ex on facebook. So mad because my partner's favorite bands were/are their ex's favorites. I feel like everytime they listen to the music, it must remind them of their ex. I hate this. I feel so angry.
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Rise_Above,
...your partner's ex is their ex because at some point they were your partner's partner... otherwise they would not have been able to acquire the EX status...
...it is unlikely that your partner chose the EX (then current partner) RANDOMLY...
...so there must have been some commonality between them...
...yes, it could be the case that your partner reminisces about their ex when they listen to the music; it does not have to be the case, but very well might be the case...
...but so what? do you want your partner to erase their history to date? disown their past?..
...why would you want that?..
..you like the partner as a package, the partner's being what they are as a result of having lived their live the way they have.. you cannot separate the partner from the past... nor would it be interesting for you.. you would not want to be with a person who has no record of living their life other than admiring you... it would be way too boring.
ALSO...
... since you are a young person, you should realize that chances are high that eventually you will split up with the current partner...
... so, I bet that you would them to remember you even though you might split up with them...
...I certainly care about how my former partners remember me. Say, a few days ago I sent a poem that was meaningful to us to my first bf, after having been out of touch for close to two decades. I sent it on his birthday. He responded saying how pleased he was that I remembered the birthday and the poem... and thanked me. I liked that. I would not want my first bf to have erased me from his memory.
...I do not know about you, but if you think about it, you might find out that you would eventually care about how your then ex partner remembers you. You might prefer that they think of you when they listen to the bands you both like...
..if you determine that you would want to be remembered, then it will be easier for you to accept that your partner remembers their ex...
...sharing the liking of the same music bands is typical for partners...
people bond with one another over liking the same music...