make a list of the way she has shown you that you can trust her. whenever you think this read the list again and try to add to it. make sure you bring no sharp objects into the office because legally that could cause tons of issues. tell her next session that you want her to see you at your worst but you know it would scare her and what could you do to convey toughs feelings. remember you said that you don't want to go back to the hospital but that would be exactly what your forcing her into to make you do. not only that up but most likely you would need to change therapists.

you're not helpless you're just confused.