Facey, first off welcome to PC!
Now, I don't like horror movies, I can watch them but they left me feeling really uneasy.
I guess my questions for you would be, Do you like the place you are in right now? Or Are you trying to find a different way of living?
I'm asking that becuase I'd like to know how you feel right now.
I think part of you it's ok wiht the whole "not feeling thing" but part of you is really missing something.
Anyway, it was really interesting reading the whole post.