This is more of a rant, so I may end up swearing a lot.

Anyway.
Lately I've been having a lot of nightmares about something that happened to me years ago. And they've just been getting worse and worse. I tried everything that people have suggested for me. I've tried writing out how I've been feeling and then hiding it away somewhere, but then when I finally got to sleep after an hour or so of just laying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling and being ****ing scared shitless, I end up having another, horrifying nightmare... and being the ****ing idiot that I am I decided to try sleeping again AFTER the nightmare and I just had another one!

SERIOUSLY?!

I was diagnosed with PTSD last year, and I've been trying to work on it with my therapist, but we kind of stopped working on it because I was getting worse whenever we'd try. I just don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet. But I want these nightmares to stop. I'm getting sick of going to bed at 3am and 4am just because I'm too scared to sleep. I have sleep paralysis, so thankfully I don't thrash or scream in my sleep, but still...

It's damn annoying and it makes me feel very ashamed of myself. I know it's probably my fault anyway for having these nightmares, but still. Just one night... ONE NIGHT is all I ask for.

Ugh. So, yes, I know these nightmares and flashbacks are just a part of the PTSD, but how do I get passed it?!