Rather than worry about having control over another person (your T), control the ONLY person you truly have the ability to control--yourself--by making the healthy decision to share your initial post with your T as a means to communicating your thinking and fears and anger in a productive and safe way. You CAN communicate safely through your written words (you just did so with us), without resorting to destructive behavior that is apparently an old and self-defeating and self-destructive pattern you have used previously with others. If you want things to turn out differently, you are going to need to make a very conscious decision not to do things the same old destructive way.