Thanks so much... I am learning to use this message board and hope to emerge from this low point in my life, to be able to help and encourage others here. Right now, I have a hard time with thinking I have anything to share with another person in emotional pain. I appreciate the hugs and kind notes I am getting here.

You're right, this hurt is too fresh and my emotions are all over the place... much confusion, then rationalization, then desire (to know things I can never know) . . . and hope that soon enough I'll feel balanced again.