Ches ~ There is always hope I guess. Just because I'm not stressed enough our wedding rings didn't arrive as they should have. Now we have no rings for tomorrow or I'm going to have to run to walmart and buy the cheapest they have until they get here. Kinda kills the symbolism of putting them on however. I'm not happy. I'm starting to think maybe this is just isn't supposed to happen..sigh. But that's defeatist talk...or common sense? Not sure.

Genetic ~ The plan is that right now I have no plan. I have tried to talk to him about it till I'm blue in the face. He always answers one of three ways. If he's in a calm state he says he understands and will work on it or he says that he told me before we dated that any woman he was with had to have thick skin. If he's in a rage...he says he doesn't give a *. Those are my choices.

I fully intend on addressing this with the psychiatrist but addressing it with him further is about as useful as a lead balloon. K isn't exactly a warm and fuzzy kinda guy. Expecting sentiment from him even when he's in a great mood is folly. I mean he can be sweet and sentimental sometimes but it's very rare and usually only when he's in a depression which again is rare. He's tough..inside and out. Trying to appeal to him through emotion isn't really going to work because when he's doing it..he couldn't care less who he's hurting. He goes for the kill with his words every time. That's why I just walk away.

His weight bench helps. He fights a lot of demons on it when he's having an episode. Just works out till he can't anymore...and that takes a while. I fell for him fast and hard and I love him with all my heart and soul but that doesn't mean he's an easy man to love even on the best of days.