Oh, you really really should stop doing all of that... The trial separation and even divorcing your wife will not help you in the least bit until you stop doing that...

To the extent that you "confessed", you yourself believe that cross-dressing is a crime and that you need to do penance or whatever.

If you yourself consider cross-dressing a crime, then she is not doing anything wrong. She is just repeating you. It would be nice if she rose to the occasion and convinced you that no, cross-dressing is not a crime, but... she is the way she is. Given that you yourself think that cross-dressing is a crime, the problem is in your mind.

I am appalled that the priest who had enough judgment to see that your wife lacked the ability to see shades of gray accepted your confessions without challenging your erroneous beliefs. I am not sure he did - maybe your conversations with God were not mediated by the priest. Still, the priest should have been much more proactive in showing to you that you have not committed any crimes.