Lily
I want to say what you are feeling is perfectly normal but I am really not qualified to do so...hehe. all I can say is that it sounds like you were describing me to a t. and you know what? I made it through just fine. the feelings worked them selves out. I was too terrified to feel them so my mind and body protected me from the pain, but I kept working at it and I healed at my own pace. the body knows what it can handle and it is going to pace you. just don't give up. keep up the good work and your body will process the trauma. hang in there.