I don't know why I need to know, or why I want to label it or not. Maybe that's not even the point of this post.
I was disagreeing w/the guy I have been seeing for the past few months over the same topic yet again and he starts getting all wound up (this was over the phone) and called me an "*'ing idiot" as he was ranting and raving away.
I hung up on him and promptly emailed him a few minutes later that I refused to tolerate being called that and told him I needed to come get the two items I have at his house.
I guess I have never had anyone call me anything like that before (at least not to my face), even though I have been in several relationships that haven't worked out for various reasons, and some have been with jerks, but I guess not in that way.
I don't know that I feel much right now. I realize a few months doesn't sound like a long time, but I have known him for 15+ years through associations with other people, so he has "flitted" in and out of my life socially, but we have never been given a chance to see how things would go for us if we tried to be together. We knew we would try if the timing was ever right for both of us as it was discussed once.
I guess I am disappointed in who he is now; I don't think the person I knew when I was 20 would have called me that. He did go through a horrible marriage/divorce several years ago, but it's no excuse. And I know people change and grow and get jaded and all that (of course, I have changed, too...and I have a lot more issues), but he seems SO very different, like to the core.
Maybe I am just sad. I wanted to try. AND I hate feeling sad. I hate that he called me that and there is no going back after it...