Nessa...

I'm sorry to hear that you got overwhelmed yesterday.. and that the voices are back. I've never heard voices... but I do have a nasty little inner critic kicking around. Sing songs at the voices and see if you annoy the crap out of them

You sure aren't weak. I get not wanting people to know that things are going wrong though, I do the same thing as you. I keep things inside too, and don't like to bug anyone or confuse them. Basically that stuff could have been me writing it down. I'm a GREAT pretender. It's really hard to flick that switch to "off".. and even worse when it shorts out like it seems to have done for you yesterday! Personally I panic when it shorts out and I'm like "EVERYONE IS GOING TO KNOW I'M GONNA RUIN ALL THEIR DAYS OH GAWD"... except well, keep the caps lock going and make that about a million times longer.

It's ok when it shorts out. It's ok when you flick it off. It's ok to be tired of it all - and you're doing the right thing by talking about it, and by dragging yourself through it. A lot of the time I don't get the point or understand WHY I'm dragging myself through hell... but then I reason with myself and point out it's because I want to know what's on the other side. Maybe eventually I'll find the point. There's got to be one somewhere.