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Hello,
You know I have spent about an hour writing and then, I had this page saying that I was not logged in...
It's the first time I talk about this, I didn't know what I have until I discovered that it can be an ADD, or an OCT. But, I think that it's an ADD, after taking the online tests.
So, I have escaped from my parents place, and quit my job as an english teacher. because my family was manipulating me so much that I couldn't handle it. Another reason is that I am a lesbian and in my society, it's very difficult to assume it, and have a life and a homosexual family with the acceptance of the family.
We have both escaped my partner and I , for different reasons seven months earlier, which made my family look after me and call me all the time to ask me to return home, and that's only witchcratf and the bla bla bla...
I went there and escaped so many time, in fact we lived in another city a bit far from my home city.
My parents came one day, and found me there, my mum started the scandal, bet me and harceled my partner... And at the end the compromise was that I give them my creadit card and then they will go.
beginning from this traumatic day, even though there were others, I started to feel sever anxiety, huge tiredness and uncontrolable desire to sleep.
And recently, it becomes more and more severe complicated and intense.
These are some symptoms of what I endure in my everyday life:
I can not control my fluid thoughts, which can be stroke by any sound, any noise, any word, any smell, any image, etc...They are here even when I kiss, make out, or have sex with my partner, which makes me very disturbed and annoyed...
these uncontrolable thoughts made me unable to do things that I enjoyed doing in the past. Like reading, when I read I find that I skipp some paragraphs, or pages, without having any ideas of what they are about, because I am so much drowned in my thoughts. this makes me unhappy, and feeling bitterness in the bottom of my heart.
I can no longer write, even though writing was a relief for me ago...
Since I try to correct every spelling, or ponctuation mistake, and that makes me very annoyed, because it stops the flow of my ideas.
When I think I find it hard to remebmer the first idea that stroke my mind, and made me think of other things, though I had a very tough memory.
When I talk, I repeat some word inconsciously, and sometime I can't continue my sentence, as I think uncontrolably of something else.
I have a difficulty organizing my activities, or my tasks during the same activity, which makes me do everything at once, and feel very tired. It's like the flow of ideas coming with housework, or job tasks.
I can't take turns during a conversation or a game for example, it disturbes me, and my interloculers, since I work for a car booking agency, and take and deliver phone calls everyday.
Sometimes, I have the sound of a song in my mind for a long time.
And in the very beginning of my escape I used to have an uncontolable activity with numbers, like counting all the numbers that come into my sight, and found pleasure in that.
I have called my family recently, and I feel some other sever symptoms as:
Sever tiredness, desire to sleep, anger at every small detail...
I hope you can help me out with this, and give me dome piece of advice.
Thank you in advance.
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