Quote:
Originally Posted by AAAAA
Rose this is your life and your decisions, but this man is a jackass! None of my children are mistakes although none of them were planned. My twins were conceived after my husband had a vasectomy. He recognized that I was feeling ill all of the time and bought an ept. I took it to shut him up but was shocked to discover I was pregnant.
Your man cannot even put his own desires for his own child. What kind of person does that make him? Why do you think he would treat you any better? I don't see it as a red flag, but a deafening alarm. He has trouble with how your feelings are manifesting because it makes him uncomfortable?
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There is a difference between unplanned and mistake. Unplanned means that you planned to have kids in the future, but not now. Mistake means you didn't ever really mean to get pregnant, but you did. I was a mistake....the child of a rape. I was not unplanned. You were married and planned to have kids, presumably, but you got pregnant before you intended to. Your kids are not mistakes, just unplanned. When you make a mistake, like a car accident, you take care of what you need to, learn from it, and move on the best you can.
He treats me very well, actually. He takes care of me, loves me, and gives me what I need. The only thing "wrong" is that he has a kid and didn't tell me up front. True, I would have missed out on a great guy because of the kid, but such is the idea of the "deal breaker" when it comes to dating.
He doesn't like the idea of me leaving because I am the best girl he's ever had, according to him. None of his others have: A career, a car, a house, money in the savings account, financially responsible, or a retirement or investment account. They also have not been : Well read, well traveled, cultured, musically inclined, able to cook, share the same idea of clean, or speak more than one language. I treat him well and have the finances to do things for him. He is very afraid of losing me. I understand his insecurities because the kiddo has been here 24 hours and I am already to the point of needing to hole myself up in my bedroom and have a break.
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