You do not report anything remotely justifying your plan to end your life. Since the marriage is not good, leave the guy. Get a T to discuss suicidality and a history of making bad choices. to the extent that there might be a mental problem/hormonal problem/mood swings, get a psychiatrist as well, to discuss things. Stop using words like ***** in describing yourself. If you like the new relationship, continue with it. If you do not like it, do not continue with it.

There is no point in telling HIM to stop your marriage. Just file for divorce. It is not a good marriage so there is nothing to salvage and no need to waste money on anger courses. Dumping a person who has major anger issues is much more effective than putting him through an anger course even if he complies and attends. Much more effective.