Why is it that when I want to be around friends, I never get a chance to be. Only when I'm in school do I hang out with them. Other times they don't even want to be with me. I guess they're nto really friends. Why is being friends so hard sometimes? why can't I have more friends? why am i not making longstanding ones? I hate to tell myself constantly that I am soooo lonely.

How come friendships don't come as easy as they should? It's not fair that others have so many but not me. I don't know if whether or not I am being led to be friends with someone or not, but there's one who told me that she doesn't even have 10 friends herself and I was like,"You don't?" In fact, she thinks that more friends mean more problems. I don't see it that way because if you have more friends, you can always rely on someone but how do you know that they are the right ones? Why do I always choose the friends that others have? Am I really jealous or do I feel left out?

Right now I feel like I'm not meant to have friends.