The depression I've experienced is something that has been growing in me for many years. I've been through a lot of ups and downs. When we moved to where we are now, I left a lot behind to get here but soon realized it's not the right place for me. I decided to stay here and make a go of it so because my wife felt so good here. I wanted her to have that. But I really lost my way.

I started losing interest in everything and everyone. I'd feel good for a while but always after a few weeks or sometimes months, I'd start to feel hopeless and worthless. I thought it was just my personality or someone that I'd become. My wife told me several times that she just wanted the man she married to come back. I didn't know where that "me" went or how to find myself again. In the end she gave up trying and I got more and more distant- from her and the rest of life.