(((hugs)))) Wow you certainly are trying to manage alot! As for the 83 year old, if he is incapacitated to where he can't do anything ot anyone, the only thing registering now will do is make it so he has no place to live, and if you are taking care of him, you will also be the brunt of the stigma and problems he made.

I can see why you want out. You feel trapped. Nowhere in your post do I see where anyone is going to therapy. I strongly suggest this for you, so that even if you do get out you will do so not out of exasperation but with a clear thinking of what you have to do for self care.

The doctor who is precribing the medication for the spouse needs to know that he isn't showing or doing anything. Dump that into the medical doctor's and psychiatrist's hand..if so need be, let them commit him to help stablize him.

I hope I have offered some ideas and helped break your frustration a bit. TC