Oh, do I understand. The people who were "supposed" to love me unconditionally abandoned me emotionally when I started having problems as an adolescent. Then physically left me reasonably recently. I am incredibly lucky to have a wonderful man in my life, too. I TRY to focus on him and my son but it can be difficult.
The longer I try to deal w/the rejection fallout from my episode in 2010 I realize what people do says more about them than it does about me.
I was just reading a journal I wrote in 2007...I wrote about how my dad told me he never wanted kids and really didn't want his 2nd child. I just remembered him telling me he didn't want my sister . I don't get it. He stayed and raised his family, which I suppose is admirable. But why would he marry my mom when she was 18, and all she ever wanted was a family? Those decisions he made say more about him than me or my sister. Even though she and I reap what he's sown...
Sorry this so long and I never gave you an idea of what you should do...just wanted to let you know someone gets it. Rebuilding self-esteem is difficult !