My mom and my whole family has been under stress. My fathers kidney failure, my own health problems, her own physical disabilities. And usually our relationship is wonderful. We respect each other completely. Lately, however, she has been using me as a verbal punching bag. If something particularly stressful happens during the day, whether I am involved or not, my mother takes it out on me.

Yesterday we were having a mature respectful conversation. I happened to disagree with a view she shared, and apparently it was extremely rude to try and change the topic. She insulted my intelligence, "My IQ is higher than yours, anyway."

And I shut down. I stopped talking, only giving short answers to my sister. "Yes" "No", etc. She took me out with her and I just couldn't shake it off. I think It is because I have such a connection and respect for my mom that when things like this happen I don't know how to handle it. I get upset, angry, anxious. Today she told me all I am good at is giving her migraines, out of the clear blue sky, and she has never been like this.

Is there any advice for how I can approach this verbally? I have trouble speaking. I can write quite clearly, but when it comes to applying my thoughts verbally, I get frustrated and it causes me to become more anxious. I just don't want this relationship to fall apart. It's my mom. I am already not close with my father. I don't want this all happening again.