Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraLeeOM
My daughter is 25 and lives at home. She sometimes sleeps at her boyfriend's. They've been dating for about 3 months. He is 25 also. He treats her spectacularly....he takes her to dinner several times a week, brings her to his family outings, comes to our home and behaves respectfully to my husband and me. My husband likes him.
Bu, hubby always makes a fuss when my daughter says she's sleeping over at "Jim's". He says she's cheapening herself. I think he feels he needs to say that as a father. He is otherwise a gentle, loving father. What makes men act this way when it comes to their daughters?
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I have been on the receiving end of something like this, but not quite, coming from my maternal grandfather (he died many years ago). My grandmother said that he was this way about this two daughters as well, when they were young.
I am convinced that it is a form of expressing their sexual desire for the daughter(s)/granddaughters, which has been suppressed from their consciousness. Yes, such people are otherwise gentle and loving, and would never act against their daughter(s)/granddaughter(s) sexually.
My father did commit minor SA against me when I was a teen, so he did act. Not exactly that type; but he, too, was irrationally peeved when a would-be boyfriend of mine (not even a boyfriend at that time) slept over - without me, in an otherwise empty apartment where my father happened in the morning and saw him sleeping - so my father expressed displeasure on a visceral level. He was not into old fashioned values. It is just that some fathers and grandfathers get jealous.
So when he says that she is cheapening herself, he is simply being possessive, jealous, and vulnerable. He is not being protective. It looks like protectiveness, but is not protectiveness.