This story needs a bit of a preface. My boyfriend’s brother is a firefighter, but often he is a first responder to medical calls. Last week he tended to a woman who tried to kill herself. This weekend I was at a family get-together and his father was there. The father brought up the woman’s incident and said about suicide, “I feel bad when it’s a child, but not for an adult. That’s just stupid.” He said it like he thinks suicidal people deserve to die. Like they’re unworthy of life.

I immediately became so furious—it felt like my scalp was on fire. I thought about not saying anything, but a couple seconds later I said, “I can’t believe you said that. That really offends me.”

But that’s all I said. Since then, I’ve been replaying the scene in my head and feeling so ashamed that I didn’t say more. When I replay it, I change it so I say to him, “I’m depressed. I think about killing myself nearly every day. Do you think I’m stupid and I don’t deserve to live?”

Should I drag this back out and say something else to him? He knows I have anxiety, but I don’t think he knows about the depression. Have you been in a similar situation, and what did you do?