Depressive episodes remind me of grief. They come in waves. You think you have gotten over something and things are getting better, then wham.

This is probably the wrong time to suggest this, but is there anyway that you can over do when you feel good, as in get as much done as possible so when the down times come, there will be less to worry about? It sounds like you have an aura when it comes to depressive episodes. That is a helpless feeling. You know what is coming, but feel powerless to stop it. There have been many well known people over the years that struggled with severe depressive episodes. Pres. Lincoln was one. Many years ago, I read an article that went into it some. They said that at times, the staff would know to keep sharp objects away from him. I guess that means you are in good company although I know right now that doesn't matter.

Everything seems to slow down with depression. I know that when things are bad for me, I feel like I am underwater. Its hard to start moving and keep going. Half of what people say goes over my head and what I do hear sounds like a dream. I hope that you have a good therapist to help you get through these times. Its hard to do it alone.

Feel better,
Sam2