Hello my friends-

I've just come back from florida. While I was there, I was able to read your posts and draw some conclusions based on your responses. I thank all of you for your input even when I wasn't so clear on the situation.

I was able to draw some conclusions from the posts that helped me deal with my SIL when I visited her in Florida.

-Set time boundaries with SIL. Make the visits short. Worked nicely!!!
-Send the kids their gifts if I choose not to attend one of their functions. I don't have to attend a function, sometimes you just have to love people from afar. I don't have to attend if Im anticipating that I'll have a miserable time and that's ok. This is for my sanity!!
-Spend one on one with her since she seems to do ok in that type of environment. Worked well for me and her.
-Have heart to hearts with her when the situation warrants it. In time this will also be beneficial when we build trust back up.

I'll keep revisiting this over and over again but all of you have given me some tools to deal with the situation effectively and I'm sure these boundaries will evolve as time goes by but nonetheless it's a great beginning. Hugs to you all!!!!