Got closure... sort of.

The p-doc saw me for the last time in June. He is leaving for another community mental health clinic, in another county.

So he was seeing me monthly Aug 2012 - Jun 2013, and a lot of things happened and got changed during that time.

His final pronouncement was that I might be neurotic, anxious, sure, but am definitely not psychotic. Probably not bipolar, but again, time will tell.

I think he sort of picked up on the main thing being anxiety (in terms of Axis I, and not personality disorders). I do not have depressive lows or manic highs, but currently I have, basically, arresting anxiety, and, as usual, immediately get nauseous and stop eating. Right now it is anxiety stemming from worries about how seeing my son would go. I better spend some time trip planning.

I remember getting lost as a child, several times. I realized that my family would be frightened and worried for me, and that realization sort of arrested me - my limbs went soft, weak, and powerless. Plus, nausea in the throat - such sensations. And then I stopped thinking of the best course of action and panicked. Say, the best course of action, logically, would have been to stay put and hope that they would find me. Instead, I wandered, aimlessly, just making it worse.

Right now the same thing. I need to plan a trip, but the anxiety arrests me and causes panic that does not allow to do step-by-step planning carefully and with a cold head. Pretty bad. But same thing - anxiety bordering on panic. And I get those sensations of almost not having enough air to breathe.

It is not GAD though, because it comes and goes, and is situational.