Quote:
Originally Posted by Accounto76
[He ] told me I was acting compulsively and had impulse control issues.
This is because I kept emailing and emailin and emailing. Even when he asked me to stop. I took it to heart what he said and went to a therapist to talk about it.
. He just refused to talk to me and said he dreaded seeing me. That hurt.
We recently had another falling out over the amount I email.
I thought we've grown close over the three years, we're very similar and I'd do anything I could for him, as I would a friend because I care about him.
He told me recently that I was being manipulative. And I didn't get that he really didn't want me to email any more and be conversational. I kept emailing! I even decided to take a 30 day break from email and Instill emailed him on Friday!
All that background for this:
He says I am manipulative. Am I?
I would email over and over because I wanted him to respond.
- and he hates email.
I helped him out of his situations second time because I wanted him to like me more. That's all manipulative, right?
Was I manipulative, or is he falsely analyzing me?
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Manipulate - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary
<Quote>b : to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage
3
: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose
:<end Quote>
You mention that you keep emailing, over and over, in order to get him to respond. And that you helped him out of a situation, in order to have him like you.
If it is not manipulation, which is such a hard concept to truly define where relationships are concerned, then I would say it's certainly not being respectful of another's wishes, which in your case is, fewer e-mail contact, and now next to none?
I once had a therapist explain it to me, in terms of direct communication and a round-a-bout way to get one's way. It's a complex word, that can sometimes be tossed about loosely.
My concern for you, would be why so many e-mails? If that's not what he likes, how is that respectful to him, as a person?
I know, for myself, if I feel disrespected, I will withdraw from the person or situation.
So, my question for you, is now that he wants this to end, why hang on so tightly and not go find someone else, to build up chemistry and friendship?
When you mention, 'happy family', I just wonder, how so? Is that the illusion put out to others? Is your husband, also, having a side affair???