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Originally Posted by ordinarygirl13
Hello, I'm new here!=) Nice to "meet" you all!
just last week I told my story of how I was sexually abused at age 3 and then ages 11 until I was 17. See I am doing a book club/ study with a bunch of ladies from my church and the author talks about being abused in the book quite a bit.
I didn’t even mean to share with all (20 or so) of them my story but honestly, it was like It wasn’t me speaking the words I was saying, if that makes any sense, it very well may not. It’s all a blur, and I am not sure what all I told but I do remember saying something I really did not want to say. I think it just all came out at once because I held all it in for so long.
I thought after sharing I would feel better, but the day after I shared I felt (and am still feeling) so much guilt and I feel disgusting. I went to the group again this week and I just felt like everyone hated me and was thinking I was pathetic.
I know much of these feelings stem from me going to my mom when I was 17 years old and telling her I was being sexually abused by her boyfriend’s son, and she basically chose HIM over me… AND years later, he is still in our life.
I certainly feel I over shared.
Have any of you felt this way for sharing?? I just feel like I’m being judged now, but most of it is probably in my head.
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ug- this happens way too much- when the mother takes the abusers side or refuses to believe it happened- or worst, just tells you to shut up about it and dont say a word to anyone.
i was physically, mentally and sexually abused by my father. my mother was too. she is still married to him. i am 50 yrs old! i finally told her that if she didnt leave him i would never go back to their house again- ever- now, she comes to visit me about 3 times a year. i'm angry at her. i should just cut her out of my life too.
it is good for you to talk about it to others. i have gone through so much therapy that i went from victim to survivor to just accepting it- it made me who i am today and i turned out ok
You are not being judged. every time you feel guilty about anything associated with him you are letting him win. dont let him win or hold any control over your live any more!
good luck