He doesn't like email, and you can't call him. Then he call's you manipulative? No, I don't think so on this point anyway - I think he's calling the shots. I do think that you are slightly coming over as desperate with all the emails, but when someone doesn't get a response from someone who is supposed to be a.. well... am not sure what he is, I can understand the frustration and almost determination to elicit a response. It starts to get obsessional tho, and then it is unhealthy. I do wonder if your words are true tho - you say that you just wanted a couple of emails a month and to hook up, but here you are sounding like you've invested emotionally with this man, which is at odds to what you say. You wouldn't be feeling so bad otherwise, surely?

I do think that it's natural to be nice & helpful to someone to hope they like you more, but is that manipulative? I guess so on a basic level - but surely that's what everyone does be it lovers, friendships - basically anyone we care for and care of their opinion of us.

I also think that he doesn't want to be with you any more, sex or friendship. I think it may be better to let this person go - he's no longer making you feel good about yourself and you're no longer connecting right? So what's the point of it all? Sounds like your arrangement has run it's course - for him anyway. If your own family life is so happy, go back to that, and forget him.