I have recently been told by my psychiatrist that I have a personality disorder, I am waiting for psychological therapy to start which feels like years I've been waiting their taking that long to sort it out. In the mean time I'm really struggling to the point I don't want to be here anymore. I thought I would never be a person to ever think like this but I just don't seem to be able to stop myself. My mood this weekend has been horrendous to say the least and I'm surprised I still have a partner because he has been in the firing line of my mood. Yet I don't feel sorry for it either, which confuses me because deep down I know I probably should feel sorry for the way I've behaved towards him. I am 25 years old and there are other members of my family who suffer with mental health issues so I suppose you could say it was inevitable that I wouldn't escape something but that still hasn't prepared me for these thoughts and feelings I am going through right now. I feel lost within myself, I don't feel I know who I am or why I'm even here. I feel angry and feel a huge urge to smash my entire apartment up, I am struggling with the concept of having to speak to anyone about anything face to face just the thought of it annoys me. Even down to just nipping to the shop and saying hello when buying something annoys me. I don't even want to speak to my family and I find myself finding reasons not to and reasons why there out to get me if you like. I just cant be bothered with anything the slightest thing makes me angry, yet I don't like who I have become anymore always stressed, angry, upset, alone, low. What is wrong with me really this is ridiculous!!