Thanks guys. At the very least, there was food left over at the end, so I guess that means that at least they had enough to eat and weren't hungry. I see that as a mom-win. I DID put my daughter to bed early today, as I probably would have been minus one child if she'd have stayed up one minute longer.

I went out shopping by myself for about 4 hours today. I use the word "shopping" loosely as I was at the mall for only about 45 minutes. The rest of the time I was just driving around, going no where in particular. I really wanted to just kind of park somewhere (and I really SHOULD have, if we're being honest) and hang out staring out the window. My mind kept wandering while I was driving and it got to be hard to focus on the road. I just kept getting these... random trains of thought.

It's like at any given moment I was making up scenes like "what if I stopped the car right now and got out and made like I'd jump off this bridge... how would that end?" And I'd work it all out in my head, start to finish. Or "Hmmm, what if I got on the highway here and just started driving South. How would that end?" I can't even explain all the trains of thought that were going through my head.

And I don't really know WHY I'm so exhausted today. I had plenty of time to myself over the last few days. I've done about f*** all in terms of housework. I haven't really GONE anywhere (no bank card means I can only go out shopping when my husband's at home and I can borrow his card... it's better that way really). But shopping used to be my outlet. It was bad, and I get it. It's SO much better this way, but it's just a lot harder trying to adjust.