just plain tired today. i got my butt out of bed to go to church, and forced myself to play piano for the nursing home i have been playing piano for since i was thirteen. i haven't been there since my latest attempt on my life. it did nothing for my spirits, i just squirmed during the sermon and prayed for it to end soon. being productive after i got home, sorted out my room and listing some more valuable thrift store finds on ebay, a hobby of i've taken up now that i'm unemployed. for now i just feel numb, my meds are at least doing that much, taking away the blinding depression and just making it numb. i'm exhausted, after only sleeping three hours or so last night. i'm going to keep doing anything productive i can to keep my mind off myself, for now.