Thank you, Ultramar I guess I am a human being so maybe I'm not thinking right when I say I'm boring - might be the depression as I've had this problem on and off since a small child so it has definitely affected my feelings of self-worth....The part where you said you can understand why I might be afraid of my T not being interested or not liking me helped me feel more validated. But you are right, I do feel the need to "entertain" in a way and never really thought of it as Ts are not in it for entertaining either....I don't now why I feel that need but I believe you ARE right in this.

My T actually said the exact same thing about how seemingly small or insignificant events can end up having a great deal of meaning. I think that was almost word for word lol so maybe I need to trust T in that....

I appreciate your thoughtful responses