Hugs

I understand why the flexibility of online therapy is attractive to you, and I think there are circumstances in which online therapy is a good option. I think there is the potential to be concerned, however, at the frequency with which you are using your Ts services, and the fact that you are her only regular client. The more frequently you e-mail her, the more money she makes. So, to have stricter boundaries around contact would cause her to lose money, since she does not have other regular clients to fill your slots. If she had full-time practice (either online or in person) she most likely would not be so available for daily e-mail contact. My concern is that this kind of daily contact can foster dependency-- and it does seem as though not getting an immediate response from her (about the hug; she signed off for the night) caused you to have a strong emotional reaction. The "standard" practice (at least in my area) is for a T to see a client once per week, and to have very limited outside of session contact (like, a phone call or email once in a blue moon). The reason for that is to maintain strict boundaries, keep things "professional" (avoid any confusion with T feeling like a "friend"; after all, we don't pay for friendship), to avoid dependency, and to encourage clients to take the time to really "sit with" their thoughts and feelings, do some processing on their own, use coping skills, use self-soothing techniques, and get them to feel more confident and independent. When Ts do allow frequent outside of session contact, it is usually for clients who are in a temporary crisis, are unstable due to a change in their meds, are having sui thoughts, are having a flair up or mental health episode, etc. It is not usually a constant part of the therapeutic process; it's not given as an option because it is no usually in the client's best interest (unless the client is in need of inpatient treatment or a day program). Since you say that you are doing well with your job, your marriage, parenthood, friendships, and so forth, I'm not sure why you (or your T) feel that you need daily e-mail contact, in addition to 2 or more online/phone sessions per week. This seems excessive to me and worries me, given that you have said you are your Ts only regular client. Any practicing, licensed T with only one regular client worries me because that doesn't seem normal. A good T usually has dozens of regular clients. And, given that she has the time to work with you on a daily basis, it stands to reason that she has time to serve several regular clients. If she has many temporary clients-- and they are not becoming regular clients-- that worries me as well. Why aren't they staying? Have you verified that her license is current, that she has no complaints filed against her, read any reviews on her, etc? I'm not suggesting that she isn't authentic, that she doesn't care for you, or that she does not have good intentions-- I'm just wondering about her boundaries and her practice history.