Thanks for the alternative perspective! I don't think our situations were anything alike though, because the man in my case took advantage of me financially most of our relationship yet also wanted to be controlling of me and my contacts with others outside our home, even my family, plus he was a verbal tyrant who did not even have a full grip on reality, accusing me of things I never did, thoughts I never had, and just plain crazy stuff at times.

Good luck with your divorce process. I guess the one lucky thing for me is that I never married him. Of course, he didn't think I was worth marrying, though I was worth having pay all the rent and utilities for seven years.

What saved me finally was that he got his Social Security granted, and was able to walk away when I told him I never wanted to see or talk to him again.

In any case, I am glad what I wrote helped you and I hope your life after marriage is much happier for you.