I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I have also experienced some disconnect with my t over mental illness although not exactly the way you're describing. The part that is similar is her at times not seeming to see or believe the intensity of my despair or specifically the agony of a mixed episode. I wonder if it's because her training isn't medical and she doesn't think in diagnostic terms. I generally appreciate this so much about her but it really feels like she just doesn't get it sometimes even though I try to tell her as clearly as I can and even tell her that I think she isn't seeing me. I think this might be because I present well, I work hard not freak people out, I need her to like me and worry that she won't if I don't keep it together when I'm with her. We've talked about those things and I think she wants to assure me that I'm not as bad as I think whereas I need her to see how bad I feel.

That's a big, big disconnect that you're describing and I see why you feel like seeing her is no longer an option. One thing that stands out for me in your account is "she hadn't taken it seriously (...) or something unlike her." If she has been good for you all this time and this really seems unlike her maybe it's something you can work through? Especially if she really apologizes and tells you more about how it came to be that she made this awful mistake.

Another thing that stands out for me is that you seem to have made your decision with respect to the type of treatment you'd like to pursue next (rTMS in a city and hospital she knows very well) despite saying earlier that you were unable to reach a decision. Kind of like when you flip a coin to make what seems like a hard decision and before you check if you got heads or tails you quickly realize what you hope it is. Go ahead with that decision. It probably isn't a perfect option but I bet you're leaning toward it for very good reasons.

Good luck with this! Please keep us posted.