I couldn't break all ties with mine either, although for a period of time I did limit my contact with her a great deal and it made it possible for me to learn how to set up boundaries....

I agree that we probably never stop yearning for that nurturing, loving mother we deserved to have.... its normal to want that.. we are only human....

Do what you need to do for your own emotional health... it is about you.. your healing...and don't feel guilty over your family....you didn't cause this.. you didn't ask for it.. want it or otherwise deserve it...I am sure they know that too...

I'll be thinking of you.Let us know how things go... Faith