I would have to work on my own self esteem and boundaries and tell him not to call/bother me so often when I am with others, not answer my phone and not put up with "3rd degree" conversations. I would go see my family when I wished to and would tell him in no uncertain terms that I would hope he would accompany me, as my husband, at least some of the time.

I do not see anything to respect there in one's husband and his behavior would have to change or I would not want to stay in the marriage.