It just feels to me like you are experimenting with other people; the child is not part of the equation, whether you can date a guy with kids (he is a guy with a child, that can't be undone), and yet you are going to let your limits and compromises affect the child's life. I don't know the child's background but if I were the child and going to see a father I did not know and his girlfriend, who was upset I was around was there. . .

I don't think your boyfriend has handled his fatherhood well (I see a bit where AAAAA is coming from) and here he's trying to handle it by using you/keeping you around and trying to decide when you can be there or go, etc., as well as, when he is probably being "forced" to see his child, he's trying to rope you in though you have always expressed unwillingness to date a man with children. I think your "reality" is pretty good, he's being somewhat pushy/selfish and boundary crossing about your staying/going off on your own.

I don't think you can get a good reading of your own interests/abilities around this sort of situation as it's being wholly manipulated by him? Too, to me, is the moral question of learning your limits at the expense of a child who's not an adult, and cannot decide when to come/go at all or even what the heck is going on "over his head" with mommy, daddy, and daddy's girlfriend, etc.