Again I think you're overanalysing - you've jumped from not knowing how to handle meeting this girl (to which we provided suggestions and tried to convince you things would be fine anyway if you just relax) to worrying about how she or others might view your virginity. I will be honest and say i'm having a difficult time working this situation out - you even said that you needed to make people comfortable first and foremost and just take things slowly.

So why jump to worrying over your virginity? I'm going to say what I've said all along, if you don't take some of the suggestions and or relax you either don't really want this or you don't have the self esteem to do it. I would figure out which and work on it.

None of this was meant harshly as i'm sure you'll understand but I really don't know what more I personally can offer. Maybe other members here will have the solution, I realize this is a multi-layered problem you're having but we're three pages in and more concerns are being added to the pile Maybe separate threads might help I don't know.

I really do wish you all the best and I hope someone else can help you find the answers.