Thank you for the responses! To answer a few questions. We are both middle age in our 40's. This is a second marriage for both of us and I don't remember him being like this at first. Maybe I was wrong to marry him. Maybe there were signs all along I just didn't see or didn't want to see. I don't know but all I know is what I have described here is just a small piece of what is going on. There is so much more. I am seeing a therapist but he won't go. He goes 1 or 2 times and because it costs money or he doesn't like what they have to say he won't go back. I feel like I am always on guard having to watch what I say because if I say something the wrong way then my day goes very bad....He is very negative. Another example:
I lost my Father who I was very close to and after he died I had a picture of him in my wallet. When my husband saw it he went off the deep end asking why I didn't have a picture of him? Well I don't keep any pictures in my wallet (I don't even have ones of the kids) but I found a picture of my Dad and stuck in in there. I haven't heard the end of it....